Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
