batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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