This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
