please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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