we're blogging at a bar
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
no, he came in my armpit
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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