Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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