sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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