i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
