How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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