I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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