plz talk dirty to me
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
