i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Congratulations! We have a period
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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