Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
