Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
