walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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