Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
