i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
