Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The power of my boobs compel you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
