At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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