her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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