ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
