okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
