Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
false alarm, still single
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