I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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