we're chasing vodka with high fives
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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