dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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