Cold hands, warm shart.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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