This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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