I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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