some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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