so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
