i just had sex bonerless
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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