Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
