u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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