i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
