If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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