Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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