i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
