Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
