What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
then he tried to convert me to islam
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
