Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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