The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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