I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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