i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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