ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
handjob tips. give me some.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
