I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
