cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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