We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
