Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize