sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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