the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
