just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
