the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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