dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Found your dick twin last night
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize