My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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