apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
