I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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