And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
