moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
