he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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