you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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